~By Wendy Zangari
When I was 30 Years old, I got engaged to a wonderful man, who was my angel on earth and remained my angel from Heaven. The night that we got engaged, it was a beautiful summer evening, the wind was warm brushing up against my blushed cheeks. My love, the love I had waited for so long has arrived to take me to a special place where a lot of history remains, even to this day. We changed history for this particular place that was once filled with sadness and despair. This bridge, Echo Bridge, in Newton, Massachusetts, where I grew up, was a place where countless people died by suicide and landed in the Charles River through the stream that flows underneath Echo Bridge.
This day, we made history change. Matthew James Pickett, my best friend, my love, and my confidante then, got down on one knee as were standing on this bridge that had a view so beautiful, words cannot describe. He said “Wendy, I love you and I want you to marry me, will you marry me?” I cried, my eyes could not see as they were filled with tears so blatantly happy! “Yes” I replied emphatically. “Yes, I will marry you and make you the best wife you will ever know, I love you.” Tears flowing from my soft, red cheeks, I kissed him gently on the lips as the salt from my tears enveloped our souls and intertwined them as one.
That next day, we closed on our new home. We had so many plans and we just got started and getting engaged was just the beginning. We had been looking for a home 6 months before our engagement, this was the one! The house that we would raise a family and have cook outs and have our friends and family over for gatherings. We were blessed.
At this point we invited our parents over for dinner to our new home, we had just got engaged and we thought it would be nice for the adults to meet each other and see how we are surviving. That night Matt and I made dinner for Matt’s father and mother and my mom. Matt and I were as busy as ever, cooking our famous cookout food, Hamburgers and Hot-dogs (which I no longer eat, thank G_D).
When I hear out of his mother’s mouth to my mom, “I think what they are doing is wrong, they should not be living together before marriage. They are sinning in G_D’s eyes!” My mom did a head nod and moved the conversation to something else and said “Didn’t Matt and Wendy do a wonderful job setting up the house?” Well, that told them what my mom thought and that was the end of that conversation. However, I have to wonder how someone who claims to talk to G_D, abused herself so much physically with alcohol, and verbally abused her son when she was three sheets to the wind, how is she talking to G_D? I don’t think G_D cares one way or another if you are living with someone before marriage, as long as you are true to each other and love each other completely! So, Matt’s parent’s views and my views on G_D, were completely different, needless to say. Plus I thought I spoke to G_D, I know that my G_D isn’t a judging G_D, so how could Matt’s mother say that he is judging us? Needless to say, she wasn’t talking to G_D, just what others have told her that G_D said. They were wrong, G_D is all loving and non-judging. G_D is all of us, we are all G_D in a collective consciousness.
As time went on, his parents never once came back to visit us in our home, it was not their path and they were following those that are what we call “Sheeple”. People that follow the masses! People that listen to others and take for granted what they are telling you. That is not a way of life! Living means doing what you want for the goodness and wellness of ones self and man kind and always doing it with love.
Eight months later, when I came home one night from work, Matt had asked me that day, while I was at work, if he could go to a concert that night. His friend was giving him his ticket because he couldn’t go as his son was sick. So, Matt was asked if he could take the ticket and go and tape the concert via Digital Audio Tape recorder and a professional set of microphones. He would conceal this in his jacket and go into the show and tape it, when he came home, he would fix the tape and add tracks and put it to a CD and trade with other friends that went to other concerts around the world. Matt knew so many people from every place you could think of, he knew at least one person from each country.
That night when I got home, I had seen him briefly as he and our friend, Joe, were getting ready to go to the show. Matt had just been laid off two weeks prior and had been looking for a job vigorously, so he needed a breather, and I knew this. So, I asked him briefly, almost as if I knew I would never see him again, what we had in our bank account and how long before we won’t be able to pay the mortgage. He had said that we had two weeks before we couldn’t afford it and would have to think of something. I was nervous and asked him if he really had to go that night, as I, right then and there, had a bad feeling that something was going to happen. He told me that he needed to go, that he had been stuck in the house looking for work and he needs to blow off some steam. I understood. As he was walking down the stairs, he said “I love you” and walked out the door. A moment later, he came back and popped his head in the door and said “Come here, I want to give you a hug and a kiss goodbye.” I ran downstairs and grabbed him and gave him a huge hug and a big long kiss on the lips and we both said “I love you, goodbye.” That night as I was finished eating dinner and started reading in bed, I closed my eyes, closed out the light, and began my slumber.
The phone starts ringing, I look over at the clock, it was 11:30PM. I pick up the phone with my eyes still closed, fumbling around on my table to find it. “Hello”, I said in a raspy and tired voice. “Hello Wendy, it’s Bill, may I speak with Matt? Is he there with you? Please tell me he is there with you!” I replied “No Bill, he went to the concert with Joe, why what is the matter, are you okay?” “Wendy, turn to Channel 10 Rhode Island News.” “Why Bill?” “Wendy, just do what I am asking of you, please turn on the news to Channel 10” “Okay, okay”.
As I turned on the light, grabbed the Television Remote and turned on Channel 10 News. What I saw before my eyes, made my heart sink to the bottom of my soul, the place was burning in flames and my fiancé and my friend, were in there fighting for their lives. I started panicking. I told Bill I had to go and had to call my mom and all of the Hospitals to see where Matt and Joe were, if they were alive, if they survived this terrible tragedy! My answers were bleak as I called every hospital in the book and called the Hotel across the street where they were having the families come to get the first news of their loved ones. There was no information, the hospitals told me that a mass amount of people were coming in unrecognizable. My heart sank and I cried, I cried until my eyes burned and my throat hurt and my stomach pained me.
When my mom arrived to my house, she had no idea what was going on because she did not have access to Rhode Island News stations in her area. When I told her what had happened and how we both sat on the floor in my upstairs hallway, and cried for hours. The phone wouldn’t stop ringing and I only had an hour of sleep and I was running on fumes at this point. I got a call from our friend, Roger, he was the person that gave the ticket to Matt, however I never felt he was ever responsible for this, I think he did, and perhaps still does. I hope that he can forgive himself and know that life has a way of working itself out.
That night Roger came over and took me to the Hotel across the street, in Rhode Island, where the accident had occurred. I filled out a missing person report for Matt and Roger filled one out for Joe. That was the most real it has gotten, being down there, across the street from a burnt building where my fiancé lay in the rubble, nowhere to be found. That day we waited for Matt or Joe’s name to come out over the loud-speaker, Joe’s name came up and Bill had called us as well to let us know Joe was alive. Even though Joe survived and had 2nd and 3rd degree burns on his face, head, hands and arms, he was lucky, but Matt, he didn’t get that lucky. Roger and I went home after a very long day waiting for two names to be called, when only one was called. This was a very mixed emotions type of day, I didn’t know how to think or respond to that.
I waited from that Thursday night through until the next Monday, when I hear my door bell ringing at 11:00PM. Who could it be? I thought to myself, well it was the Police, they have found Matt’s body and this is what they had said to me “Matthew James Pickett has been officially announced as deceased! I am so sorry for your loss ma’am.” Then a piece of paper was handed to me. I said “So this is what life comes down to? A piece of paper? How ridiculous!” Then I started balling and I couldn’t stop, I was so tired and so exhausted that I didn’t even have a clue at this point what I was saying or if I was even coherent. The police man said to me “Would you like us to take you somewhere?” “Where?” I said. “Somewhere where you can get help.” “I don’t need help, I need my fiancé, and this is what is left of him. A piece of paper.” “I am so sorry for your loss, if you need anything please don’t hesitate to call.” The police man handed me a business card. “Thank you and have a nice evening” they had said to me as they were walking out the door.
I sat there, looking at this piece of paper and couldn’t believe that this was it! I forgot to mention that the police had told me that he was unrecognizable and they had to use his dental records to identify him. I was in so much pain, so much sadness, I had no idea what I was going to do. We had two weeks left before we couldn’t afford the mortgage and I had just lost my fiancé in a fire and I had no idea what to do and where to begin.
Two weeks later I got started on filing Matt’s paperwork, I had just received several copies of his death certificate and I needed to send this to all of his accounts. I made my first phone call to Cristine, a Representative of our Insurance company we were using at the time. Before talking about Matt’s car, we spent a good hour on the phone talking about Matt and his untimely death. When we started talking about the car, I was unsure about what to do, since I was not registered under his car. Cristine made everything easy for me, she was the angel, at the time, that took the time to help me. Even if I don’t talk to her anymore, she is always well thought of in my heart.
After I got off of the phone with Cristine, I had decided to put the bills on the table and get to them later, I just sat down on my couch to take a break from it all and sit in the quietness. I look over to the bills and they are now, at an extremely fast rate, raising themselves and pushing themselves three feet from the coffee table. I saw this happen before my eyes and I couldn’t believe it. I got up, picked up the bills that were now on the floor near the Television in the corner of the room. I put them back on the table and tried to recreate what had just happened, but to no avail, I was unable to.
Now suddenly, I hear something in the back laundry room. I put the bills on the table and open the door to the laundry room. The basketball that was half deflated, was twenty feet or so away from the shelf it was wedged, with a cooler on one side and the arm of the end of the shelf, on the other side. How did the basketball end up over here? It had been on that shelf since the time we moved in, eight months prior. So this was odd to me. I started saying “Matt, are you there? Was that you?” Then nothing. I didn’t have contact with him until about five and a half months later.
I am driving to my therapy appointment and I hear in my head “Go to the cemetery after your appointment and you will see that they are putting my stone in.” I looked around. Saying to myself “Did I just hear that? Is that you Matt?” I hear an emphatic “YES!” It could not have been any clearer! So, after my appointment, I went to Matt’s grave site. They had just finished putting in the cement in, and were waiting for it to dry so that they could put the stone on. I went over to take a look at the stone, my eyes were the first to see it, the first person that it had meaning to, but unfortunately his parents decided to put their names on it too, without a deceased date. I didn’t expect them to use one stone for all three of them. How odd, I thought to myself.
Regardless, I went over to the grave site and I decided to write in the wet cement “I will always love you forever, Love Wendy” I sat there and waited until it was semi dry and I left. Now he and I will be together forever, his parents will not break us apart. I was filled with such joy that evening that I went over to my mom’s house to tell her the news. I was so excited.
Two weeks pass, and I am in the car with my mom. Matt had already been gone six and a half months at this time. My mom and I were talking, the AC was on low and the windows were closed and the radio was turned off. We sat there talking about all the wonderful times we had with Matt. A phone rings. “Mom was that your phone?” Mom replied “No, I don’t have a phone, was that your phone?” I replied “No I don’t have a phone either”. Mom says “Okay, so you DID hear that phone ring, right?” I replied “Yes, I certainly did, loud and clear. Matt is that you?” I knew it was him, he was a Provisioning Manager for a Telecommunications company prior to his death. It was comforting to know he was not dead, he was in fact, very much alive.
Since then, I have had many conversations with him about what Heaven was like, what he was doing now, what he looked like, how he ate, slept, dressed, etc. I got these answers and then some, it came to me, clear and concise. There was no doubting that Matt was talking to me Telepathically. Even though his physical body was gone, his soul/spirit still moves on, that is the beauty of it.
I also wanted to mention, that I have been married now to a wonderful man who swept me off my feet a year after Matt was killed and he still does. Thank you so much Greg for loving me the way you do, I love you more than words can say and I never thought love could be taken to the next level. Thank you for showing me that. I love you.
© 2011 – 2012, Ready For The Shift. ™ Wendy & Greg Zangari, All rights reserved. Permission is granted to copy and redistribute these articles on the condition that the content remains complete and in tact, full credit is given to the author(s), and that it is distributed freely.