~By Wendy Zangari
As Greg and I are going on this journey with all of you, we are growing exponentially in leaps and bounds. We are constantly getting connected with our soul family again after probably centuries of being away from each other. It is an amazing time in which to grow, to learn, and to accept. We are finding who we really are as Starseeds and knowing intrinsically that we are on the right path now after months of wavering of what is reality and what is in fact not reality. Once again yesterday we opened our eyes again and saw a glimpse of who we really are and what our importance is in this whole process, as everyone has an important role to play in these times we are living in. Greg and I have seen a glimpse and to be honest with you, I don’t like titles or labels, but I feel as though we are ascended ones that have come back to help with the ascension process.
The ironic thing is that Greg and I have had very rough lives and we are just now realizing what each component of our life meant and even though they may be terrible events that have happened to us, we do not feel victimized. We feel blessed for what we went through, because if we didn’t, right now we would not be able to share our experiences with you and show you that you are not alone, we are all alike and we all went through some really tough situations in this lifetime. Remember though, you created it and you asked for it to be this way for the duration of your stay here on this planet, in this life, so you can learn and grow and then teach others from experience.
Those people that did not make it to this point in our world, they had their role to play as well and they played their parts just as the script read.
When I was 11 years old I told my parents that I did not want to go out to trick or treat with my friends because I had a very bad feeling. That night, in 1983, I believe it was, on Hallows Eve, my friend, who was 10 years old and an only child, was killed by a car. She dropped her candy in the middle of the street and bent down to pick it up, the car did not see her and hit her in the head as she bent down. She was in a coma for 6 days and died. She left this plane of existence early as she perhaps filled out her soul contract and needed to assist Gaia and it’s inhabitants, helping from another dimension. This was the only year I did not go out for Hallows Eve, a time where the veil between two worlds is at its thinnest.
This was my first funeral and I wanted to go alone. I walked across the street that morning to the cemetery and I hid behind a tree as the services started. I stood there, my eyes welled up blaming myself for this. If I had gone with them, I could have saved her and this would not have happened. I could have forewarned her, but I didn’t because I was unsure as to what this true feeling was within me. After everyone left, I went up to her grave site and sat down next to it. I cried and screamed and asked God why he had done this, why? WHY? I didn’t understand. After that I got mad at God and I stopped listening in Hebrew school, I memorized my Haf-Torah (which is what you sing (yes sing) when you get Bat/Barmitzvahed), I didn’t even know what I was saying (I can read Hebrew fairly fluently, but I understand little). The times I went to Sunday School with my cousin up in Maine, I also started blaming their God as their God always told them that they were sinners and that they must constantly repent for their sins, I didn’t believe God, or what I thought God was, anymore. I thought if God could do this to a child, then he must be a ruthless God, a vengeful God.
As I veered away from God, I started drinking, by the time I was 16 I was apparently a full blown alcoholic that could put down a whole bottle of Smirnoff Vodka or a pint or two of Southern Comfort, and not get sick. I wanted to numb the pain, I wanted to kill the pain as my home life was also a mess. So at 7 years old I write letters to God and at 11 I dismissed God and did everything in my life opposite of what anyone ever told me. Although I had a lot of issues at home, dealing with a Mom that was a binge drinker, a Father that was the enabler, and 3 siblings, no one wanted anything to do with me as they had their own lives to lead.
My Father was married prior to my mom and had four children of his own, he brought two of his oldest children to live with him. The other two children stayed with their mom, as one of the children was only two or so years old at the time, and the other child, with Down’s Syndrome. I knew of my other two siblings, but I didn’t meet one of them until he was sixteen years old. My Dad had not seen his son in fourteen years. As time went on, we got to meet my sister, whom has Down’s Syndrome, and I fell in love with her, she is my sister, my new sister. This still did not change much of my world, as when the phenomenon of my siblings back in my life wore off, I still was in that same place of despair. Why did this not change this feeling within me, why was this feeling always fleeting? I was on my search for the truth of what the purpose of life was about. That started at a very young age.
I could tell you my whole life story but I would be here for weeks writing, as I am sure all of you could too! At age 19 I took off from home with no explanation and no forwarding number or address, I packed a backpack, took my keyboard and left. I found a homeless shelter to live in close to Boston and stayed there for 6 months. It was an eye opening experience sleeping in a homeless shelter and eating at soup kitchen’s with mostly Vietnam Veterans. I have had many conversations at those tables with all sorts of people, from all walks of life, but when I met this one man, this one particular man who asked to sit at my table when I was sitting alone one day. He sat down and introduced himself. His appearance was that of a vagrant, however, I did not see that. I didn’t see the dirt that was covering his face and his clothes, I didn’t see the dirt under his fingernails or the holes in his shoes. I saw a man who was dragged down by the elite (which is not what I knew at the time) and was thrown out like yesterdays garbage after serving his Country. This is what the US Government did to this man, I was awakened again at 19 years old.
Many times in my life I kept awakening over and over again. The choices I made were so poignant and so pertinent to my path and I didn’t know why, I was sad, miserable, angry, and filled with hate for this world and a lot of the people in it, I even dressed the part so no one would talk to me or bother me. When I got back on my feet I helped the homeless by giving them options when I would walk past them. I would give them my leftovers, some do not take it due to their pride being hurt. That is why when I was in the homeless shelter for six months, there were a lot of empty beds every night. I would give any extra money to them that I had and specified to them that they should not use it for alcohol, that they should go get a meal instead. I have no idea what they did with the money, all I could do was guide them. Since then I have known that anyone in this world can get back up if they give themselves a chance and use the resources given to them. Most do not.
I kept awakening more and more in life. I got sober when I was 23 and a half, after wandering the world for four and a half years with no certainty and no path, so I thought. In that short time from when I was 19 until I was 23 I experienced more than most at this age. I had been in an abusive relationships, abusing each other and ourselves. I had seen the world upside down and inside out, I didn’t like it, I didn’t want to be here and once again at 23 years old tried to kill myself with no success, once again. My parents drove down to Bronx, New York, where I was living at the time, and bailed me out of jail because I had gone mad, sliced my wrist with a serrated knife, after I had a miscarriage in the toilet, after I was punched in the stomach and I went out and keyed my boyfriend’s car, $500 worth of damages, my Dad paid them off. I went home to Massachusetts and never looked back to that part of my life again.
I got sober and my life started unfolding itself and showing itself to me. I learned my strengths, I learned my weaknesses, I did two 4th steps (in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book) and made a fearless moral inventory of myself. I have apologized to all those that I hurt, even if they did not know that I hurt them I apologized anyway. Since then, I have cleared my side of the street and have cleared my conscious. Actually I recommend that everyone read the fourth step of Alcoholics Anonymous’ Big Book and do this exercise yourselves, it’s not necessarily for just Alcoholics. This is a clearing process, a process where you are cleaning all of the sins, if you will, of your past and afterwards learning to stay in the present moment after you release these feelings.
As life went on for me, I would slip and fall, get back up, slip again, get back up and do it all over again and I kept trying and I didn’t give up. The most important thing here is that I did not give up, which leads me to now, as I have pretty much explained my life to all of you since I got sober at 23 years old. Life didn’t get easier for me, it got more challenging, but it has made me who I am today and for that I am proud that I made it. I am here, I made it and YOU made it!!
Congratulations! We are the people of the future, who knew? We are the ones to show others the way. Give them the torch to light. We are the catalysts of the future. Seriously, CONGRATULATIONS!! I wish I had balloons and cake for all of you, you deserve it, WE deserve it. We have made it through all of our trials and tribulations in life, we have split the seas, to make room for unity. You are all blessed and we are so very blessed to be meeting all of you, our soul family. We are now moving into The Golden Age with vigor and perseverance for truth. We are here folks, we are getting prepared to enter into a new portal. All that you went through in life was not in waste. I hope you know that by now.
In Love and Light,
© 2011 – 2012, Ready For The Shift. ™ Wendy & Greg Zangari, All rights reserved. Permission is granted to copy and redistribute these articles on the condition that the content remains complete and in tact, full credit is given to the author(s), and that it is distributed freely.