~By Wendy Zangari
There is a way to go about life riding the middle line. You do not have to make things more difficult for yourself and create a black or white/all or nothing scenario. As human beings we tend to let our pride get in the way of relationships and put a brick wall up in front of us before we even know the solution.
Why do we do this you ask? Because most human beings are insecure and push back onto another being those feelings that we actually feel within and about ourselves and/or we are simply hurt by another’s words or actions.
How can we handle this? We can simply state our reasoning for our words or actions. If you are not being heard, then the other approach is to allow this person to feel what they are feeling and perhaps work it out themselves or perhaps it can be worked out later when everyone has time to reflect. We cannot please everyone, but we can try different approaches on how to deal with confronting another, if a confrontation occurs.
One approach as I mentioned above is to let them work it out themselves if you are not being heard. However, sometimes this can leave the person who is not being heard, with a sour taste in their mouth if they are ones that have to resolve matters in their life and can’t just let things be. I am one of these people, but am trying very hard to change this about me, because this too is pride, pride of me not being wrong, and this isn’t good either.
So what do people do when they are at an impasse? Do they walk their separate ways? If this is so, how can things get resolved between human beings in this world? They can’t!
We need to put our pride aside and try to resolve matters with people. Those that are on the receiving end of being spoken to, or being reprimanded by someone, or even getting advice, should try to understand where one is coming from by stepping back and looking inward to find out if what they say is true, and if so, how you must change this aspect of your being.
We should all try to understand each other’s perspective and put ourselves in each other’s shoes, we don’t know what another goes through even then, but we can sympathize and empathize with them and try to understand. Also, don’t fight with the ones you love, or those trying to help, only to hurt yourself and others in the end.
I have always tried to look at how I can affect a situation good or bad, I am sometimes at fault as well, but I try to understand myself more through every situation that I am confronted with in life.
Also, it is an impossibility to help others when they do not help themselves and you cannot help yourself if you can’t be honest with yourself as well as others!
Like I said before, If people want an ear with me, I will listen, but I will also provide solutions. If you do not take these solutions and still complain about your problems to me, that is when I have to step back and wonder if that person likes to sit in their own shit. I have been there, so has Greg, and we refuse to be a victim in this world anymore, so should you!
I have to wonder why this world has to be either all or nothing, it doesn’t have to be, there is a little bit of grey in everything and in order to strive for balance within ourselves and others, we have to strive for excellence, but do not be disappointed if you have to try and try again to get there, it is all part of the learning process about ourselves. We have to strive for the best for ourselves so we can become the world we always wanted Gaia to be and grow as a human race.
You do not have to suffer, we don’t have to suffer, the answers are all out there for your taking, you just have to be looking for the information if you want to be healthy and own your rights to your soul again.
Greg and I are on this path of becoming healthy, learning about different methods of medicine that is all natural and not man made, we have all we need in nature. Nature will heal us, why can’t you trust in it and know that in order to find that balance we must trust Gaia again?
We must heal from the inside out! We must find ways that conventional medicine has failed at! Homeopathic medicine works, if you know how to use it. In order to heal we need to know that there is always a little bit of grey in everything, learn from others and know it doesn’t mean you are dumb, because no one is, there is no stupid question!
We also must not forget to be kind to others along our path, we cannot push others away because of pride.
Pride is such a false feeling! When one points out our faults we retract or react because we are hiding how we really feel about ourselves, but we cannot hide.
Everyone has valid feelings, just try to keep them in check when interacting with others because you might not take things the way they were intended. Keep that in the back of your mind if you retract or react to someone who points something out about you and/or to you, that perhaps you are embarrassed about.
This is something we are trying to get rid of in this world. Pride! It is always what things like this come down to, you feeling embarrassed or ashamed or whatever you might be feeling at the time, and the other person wondering how to rectify the situation to make things better. Try to remember the first time you felt this feeling and walk yourself through to a happy occurrence in this same memory, this will remove that feeling because now it has something wonderful associated with it.
It helps to get to the root of the problem within yourself so that you can recognize it and learn from it and move on. No one should judge another, especially if they do not react to something the way you thought they would. We have to re-learn our thought process and this seemed to work for me, therefore I am giving this tool to you. Try it, it works!
Please know that there is grey! Don’t react negatively to someone helping you, they are helping because they want to! Don’t be upset when they retract because you are monopolizing their time when they too aren’t physically well. Don’t push people away with your words or actions when you feel hurt by them telling you that they need time to recuperate from their own ailments/problems.
Try putting yourself in another person’s shoes, don’t react foolishly just to push the one person helping, away! Try to understand and know where another is coming from is all I request! This is something I try to do all of the time, trying to understand where people are coming from. We should all learn this skill as it is very useful to learn and be aware of your words or actions and how they can affect others.
Again, there is no here nor there, you vs. me, black or white, all or nothing, there is a happy medium for all solutions to life’s problems. Don’t give up searching for the solutions! They are out there!
And this is how the all or nothing mentality can get you nowhere fast, the cycle will continue to repeat throughout your life if you do not recognize where this problem stems from in the beginning.
© 2012, Ready For The Shift. ™ Wendy & Greg Zangari, All rights reserved. Permission is granted to copy and redistribute these articles on the condition that the content remains complete and in tact, full credit is given to the author(s), and that it is distributed freely.